The Pirates Who Fight
Once upon a time, a ship floated on the ocean. It was a pirate ship, painted green with a blue flag. On board, there were three good guy pirates. Their names were Jamagoodguy, Goobi and Newbachi. All they ate was bagels with Smart Balance and a knife and a plate.
Jamagoodguy was eating a bagel with Smart Balance and a knife and a plate, when suddenly a bird came and took it away. Jamagoodguy got mad at the bird, and grabbed it, took his bagel with Smart Balance and a knife and a plate, and spanked the bird and threw it in the trashcan. He noticed a letter in its beak.
It said: “Dear Jamagoodguy, I have sent this letter with Jingo the parrot. Jingo is a Spanish word that means “birdie”. If you have received this letter it means you are a good guy. You have to eat the jingo mari because I say so. The Jingo Mari is a fish with fingers and polka dots. You have accidents to your men during fighting in Newfoundland. And your cake and real apple cinnamon pie for you to eat with some ketchup on Christmas. It will make you fat. And when you run, you get skinny again. If you get your foot hurt, you can’t walk. Accidents have happened, and we do not need you right now. And you are fifteen, and when you are fifteen, you are old. And you brush your teeth at night. And when you die, you get comic books.”
Love,
Jamagoodguy was eating a bagel with Smart Balance and a knife and a plate, when suddenly a bird came and took it away. Jamagoodguy got mad at the bird, and grabbed it, took his bagel with Smart Balance and a knife and a plate, and spanked the bird and threw it in the trashcan. He noticed a letter in its beak.
It said: “Dear Jamagoodguy, I have sent this letter with Jingo the parrot. Jingo is a Spanish word that means “birdie”. If you have received this letter it means you are a good guy. You have to eat the jingo mari because I say so. The Jingo Mari is a fish with fingers and polka dots. You have accidents to your men during fighting in Newfoundland. And your cake and real apple cinnamon pie for you to eat with some ketchup on Christmas. It will make you fat. And when you run, you get skinny again. If you get your foot hurt, you can’t walk. Accidents have happened, and we do not need you right now. And you are fifteen, and when you are fifteen, you are old. And you brush your teeth at night. And when you die, you get comic books.”
Love,
Pirate Skeleton Fireman
